Isaiah 26

At that time, this song will be sung in the country of Judah: We have a strong city, Salvation City, built and fortified with salvation. Throw wide the gates so good and true people can enter. People with their minds set on you, you keep completely whole, Steady on their feet, because they keep at it and don't quit. Depend on God and keep at it because in the Lord God you have a sure thing. Those who lived high and mighty he knocked off their high horse. He used the city built on the hill as fill for the marshes. All the exploited and outcast peoples build their lives on the reclaimed land. The path of right-living people is level. The Leveler evens the road for the right-living. We're in no hurry, God. We're content to linger in the path sign-posted with your decisions. Who you are and what you've done are all we'll ever want. Through the night my soul longs for you. Deep from within me my spirit reaches out to you. When your decisions are on public display, everyone learns how to live right. If the wicked are shown grace, they don't seem to get it. In the land of right living, they persist in wrong living, blind to the splendor of God. You hold your hand up high, God, but they don't see it. Open their eyes to what you do, to see your zealous love for your people. Shame them. Light a fire under them. Get the attention of these enemies of yours. God, order a peaceful and whole life for us because everything we've done, you've done for us. O God, our God, we've had other masters rule us, but you're the only Master we've ever known. The dead don't talk, ghosts don't walk, Because you've said, "Enough-that's all for you," and wiped them off the books. But the living you make larger than life. The more life you give, the more glory you display, and stretch the borders to accommodate more living! O God, they begged you for help when they were in trouble, when your discipline was so heavy they could barely whisper a prayer. Like a woman having a baby, writhing in distress, screaming her pain as the baby is being born, That's how we were because of you, O God. We were pregnant full-term. We writhed in labor but bore no baby. We gave birth to wind. Nothing came of our labor. We produced nothing living. We couldn't save the world. But friends, your dead will live, your corpses will get to their feet. All you dead and buried, wake up! Sing! Your dew is morning dew catching the first rays of sun, The earth bursting with life, giving birth to the dead. Come, my people, go home and shut yourselves in. Go into seclusion for a while until the punishing wrath is past, Because God is sure to come from his place to punish the wrong of the people on earth. Earth itself will point out the bloodstains; it will show where the murdered have been hidden away. (Isaiah 26:1-21 MSG)

It's been a while

Since I've been struck
With
Lightening
Or anything frightening
But somehow even
Traffic lights scare me
Not having enough
And losing brothers
To music

listening to sound advice
Seems foolish

I don't understand
What is people lean
On or glean from
When it isn't
You Father.

April 16th

Incense and a paper plate

Andromeda

Rainy day

Do not ask for talents
Or ease
But seek intimacy with God

April 2nd

the boys swing their lasso's
they strangle hooves

Meanwhile
we drove to a glassy river just to watch the ice crack and call out taunts in a deep blue voice
I imagined my feet to be webbed black and gluey like the baby goose dropping feathers as he flew
First his feet stick to the frost as he tries to take off
then he's in the air
spastic, writhing and fleeing past the yellow sun heading towards the red foot bridge

March 29th

Guzoo

There is a very amazing zoo in town.

march 25

the morning is new

the morning is new

what is it that makes me listen

to you

when you tell me to do things

i don't want to do

I am not a bird

and i will never 

know the sea

intimately

how did you 

breathe

this life

this consciousness into me?

March 23

look up
the sky

it once was filled with snow

swirling in our frozen faces

now we sit in open spaces

every night

I swear 

I swear

that i will be with you forever

the motel lights flickered when you

said 

the words

the words

they crumble in my mind

my icy boots would stumble 

on the glowing streets.

in july we'll know everything

it seems naive don't you think

but it's crazier not to believe

the water tastes like chlorine

in this small town where it never rains

and I dream of tambourines

Soteriology

should i go back

and take the

bark canoe

from your

black beach

and sail it out

to sea

or should I fold

my paper napkin

at dinner

and just pretend

to float over

many oceans

have you heard of hades,

is that why you're here?

or have you heard of

North Korea and the

grey mush they serve with tea?

it makes me sick and I feel

my stomach churn to know that

what we need is a white crop

sense of urgency

March 21st

If you've started

please continue

keep me in your ways

If I've done wrong

in your own eyes

please forgive me by and by

If you guide me

I will follow

and take refuge in your arms

The ruthless man will pass away

in a blooming orchard on a hill

I know that you've been waiting for a while

I was young and now I'm old

I've never seen your brothers begging

scrounging change and sleeping on the street

Soon we'll lie in the land

tall swaying grass and sunny sand

keep the law of God in your heart

We've gotta plough and sow the seeds

praise the Lord and

lift Him on high

Wait for the Lord

and keep in his way.

March 20th

Did you come from the chaos of darkness?

were you bathed in the void

or born in the river?

did the water send you

or were you already teaming with life?

March 15th

you can tell by the wind

that isn't so cold,

the sagging slack line,

brown feathers floating-

we'll be ready soon

to leave the orchard

to roll back in the

smell of spring

to be caught in the

waiting

to catch the end of a smile

and cash in our dreams

for the dream of hope.

March 13 (haiku)

Suddenly the snow
Appears on my windowsill.
Change can happen fast.

march 12th

John 1:1-5

I wanted to think more about this verse.

It's hard to create things in a day.

march 11

it's too easy to go back to the

gates of the garden

it's too simple to get lost in

the honey flowing like rivers

we were all there when it happened

and still we are here

trying in vain to go back.

March 10th

Thank you for the sun
The return of long golden
Streets of wheat to walk upon
We yawn out our excitement
Waking moon rises too
I hear the northern lights came south
It seems everything is alive tonight.

March 9th

The truth in the story

I realize no one can write,

after reading you

the maker of words

who chose to weave them

and leave them loose

in our hands.

March 3rd

Baptism

My mind curves more than the Clarkfork on high

12 months ago I was ready to die

but something in the water

changed my mind.

Go Further

February 23rd

One morning at Camp Bighorn, in Montana the leaders of our morning chapel instructed us to seek solitude and communion with the Lord. The sky was leaking snow when I walked to the river. At first my thoughts jumped as I made my way across the highway. "I'm listening, I'm listening" I repeated to regain my focus. I stopped when I reached the shore. I noticed a rock peeking out of the river that seemed a few hops out of my reach. “I’m listening" I thought. I thought about being still. The river moved past me and even the mountains were breathing but my eyes clung to the rock poking up out of the current.

"Go further", the thought was not my own. The God I'd been listening for was speaking. I looked at the rock, it seemed that I would slip and fall into the shallow river on my way there. I imagined explaining to my peers how I had managed to fall into such a low river, my soaking shoes and dripping denim leaving a trail of questions. "Go further" I heard. After a few moments of hesitation, I leapt over to the rock and balanced there in awe of my small accomplishment.

God was giving me a larger instruction when he said, "Go further". He did not say, "Go out farther to that rock" he simply said, "Go further". He also confronted me with the immediate challenge, to see if there was any action behind my trust. He gave me a glimpse of going further in my faith. God turned a small encounter into a profound lesson.

February 22nd

Driving Home in a Snowstorm

We passed through Dixon hurriedly as the wind dragged us across the highway, the car windows breathing, ice wheels wheezing

We opened the window just to live dangerously and feel the cold on our cheeks

After two ours of driving home in a snowstorm we arrived home dead beats ready to sleep

And now all I remember is the dream of white linen sheets wrapping us blindly, static in the fabric made all the brightness cling to us

A glimpse of the river and we knew we'd be home soon.

February 21st

February 19th

without it i'd be lost

without the dream of rain

music coming from the backyard

banjo echo, kingdom like gold

bright day, blooming garden

tomato, basil, strawberries

shaking hands with the moon

birds we've never seen before

softly land on our knees

swans floating as we breathe

breakfast on the gorge.

February 18th

perhaps the best thing

is cold air

and the feeling that

things are only beginning

ice makes for easy escaping

but in all this frantic white

there is no reason I can find for running

Feb 17th

There is liberation in the longing

but please just fill me with joy

so I can be light

and you can be lifted

Feb 16th

Jewellery Making

February 15th

February 14th

here is the place

where I need rest

settle the dust

so mud will not

keep me stuck.

Feb 13th

"God is not a human, that he should lie,

not a human being, that he should

change his mind." Numbers 23:19

There is no river here to meet me

the long grass and gossamer glinting is something I dreamt up.

There is no forest of gary oak trees,

there is heavy fog

but it doesn't lift.

The chance to sleep has left me

and the sun hums busily on the horizon.

Coming Back from the Moon

Parasail and the wind

things we forgot about

gravity is one of them.

your silver grommets and loose space suits

This is where your mind gets lost-

blue and white scales peeling back like a drowning

arbutus and every night I dream in india ink

black needles and thread

pastel envelopes we mailed to

some man in the arctic who has to deal with

all your requests

and finally you fall asleep in a Russian submarine.

Blended Days

I am finding it harder to be transparent in all of my creating. Somedays I feel what I create isn't worthy of posting and my zeal is dissipating. Today I wrote a poem and it goes like this:

Have you been to the river?

the one that runs over your hands throbbing red

where your veins pulse and your eyes swim frantically

smooth rocks sink and glass sheets cover up the jagged truth

standing waves scream with rebellion

Do you live in fear that no one will listen to your cries of devastation

I'll see those long brown eyelashes droop like ferns

and the dew that glistens is just morning making his parade

there is nothing new under the sun

Seigel Pass

Nadia and I, recorded this song in the bathroom at camp. We are currently trying to come up with a band name. This song was written when we we're going up seigel pass, thus the name. We hope that it reflects a bit of God's glory and other truths. This is day 23? I am losing track.

Day 22

Robert Frost

This is a map me and Faith's five year old brother, Elisha made one night. He would draw the roads and the houses and the forests and tell me how to label them. He was very proud of the map.

I drew a picture of the wood stove in their living room:

Day 21

I dreamt I had to shed my skin

and in doing this,

I tore apart my body

we found your body

cold at the bass pond

across from the

railroad tracks

we dragged you back

your spine cracked

across the river

in the raft

I woke up

at the table

but it was not a dream

just a very late night.

day 20

Greek Fire

rising up

from melting ice

black soot runs like

flaming glue

the centre is

purple licking blue

smoke billowing straight up through flume

smothering pine spews gray fumes

as I watch black water combust

I try to explain the darkness

that is so natural within me

it comforts me

and corners me

like the paradox of

snow burning

I glow with fury when I think

about how I got here

humid hospital, fluorescent lights

and earlier the fire blazing in the sky

thinking I could change my mind

it is hard to talk about it without

feeling unworthy

You wouldn't think wet tamarack

would light in a mud track

in february

but I can see the flames

rising up as the pitch catches wildly

How can there be beauty in darkness?

Day 19

This is what He made the cold for

murmuring voices

scorching toes

conversation boils over

whistling water

and the moon sliver is bright tonight

we can see the city lights

Day 18

The night of the 26th I was on telemark skiing specialization. I spent the day praying for strength as I lead my team by compass up a ridge line, switchbacking as the sun lowered into the night.

As I finally settled into my sleeping bag, I wrote this down:

Father, you've strengthened me

given me more than I should receive

to see the sun on a

mountain in january

to be warm for a long night.

LIFE

Loss of time is the norm here and I haven't been able to make something EVERY day anymore. In ways I definitely do things that are focused on God, but it becomes impossible to write anything down when your ink freezes and you are shivering in a snow bank trying to rest before summiting a mountain on skis. But after all those excuses, I am not even sure they need to be said. It is comforting to know that God is filled with Grace and my shortcomings don't hinder his power. I am looking forward to experiencing his grace this year, as I am sure I will not always live up to my own expectations.

While I didn't make anything intentionally for glorifying to the Lord today, it is more exciting to feel Christ TANGIBLY changing my desires and intent.

Today I spent the day making all sorts of paninis for an indoor picnic lunch we put on for the camp. It took all of our day up to make pies and grilled philly cheese steak sandwiches, but I can't believe I ever had other intentions, like resting or reading. Small things give me rest now, like receiving letters from loved ones, and resting in the scriptures. I'm starting to see how beautiful community can be.

Tonight me and my dear friend Kelly had ten minutes to make a birthday cake. There were three birthdays happening today but no one had planned to make a cake. Since we'd had pie at lunch, the cooks figured they'd leave out dessert for supper. As we were setting up tables, one of the birthday boys turned to me and said, "I'm so excited for birthday cake tonight". I quickly found Kelly and told her we had to do something fast. There was ten minuted until dinner was starting and we ran to our rooms, she was yelling " I have a cake mix!". A friend had given her a box of vanilla flavoured things, and so we were able to whip up a cake that was ready right as dinner was ending. The birthday cake was a success, and I felt that Jesus was so present in enabling us to give that gift.

Life is so full.

Day 17

Day 16

Last night we held a staff appreciation night. I was really proud of all the work our team did to pull off this night. In between our sparse days off I put together a going away video, our team made invitations and then we spent all day making desserts. The night was so enjoyable and we were able to honour all the staff for their hard work.

Day 15

Ecclesiastes: What do people get for all the toil and anxious striving with which they labor under the sun? All their days their work is grief and pain; even at night their minds do not rest.

Day 12

One night my pen died, so I etched a face in my notebook and uncovered it with pencil the next day:

Day 14

I was lying in a tent, freezing after a day of backcountry skiing. I couldn't find my pencil, so i wrote a haiku in my mind:

Symptoms of Frost Bite

frost nip under skin

ice crystals sparkle and dim

flushed red hands turn white

Day 13

Friday the 20th:

Oh my Lord God

it's easy to forget

you meant for us to

rest in you

Oh my Lord God

we've made it up the slope

we've seen the fog

rise up from the valley

Oh my Lord God

thank you for the truth

remind us of the hope

every morning we're born new

Oh my Lord God

Your Spirit's in our hearts

and Your Son is in our hands.

Day 11

Icicle

I learned to stop thanking the trees.

When you're trying to survive

in snow banks and blizzard

every move matters

if you don't drink enough you'll shiver

if you drink too much you won't sleep

if your boots are too tight

blood won't reach your feet

if you work too hard

sweat will run and if you pause it'll freeze

every move matters

when you're laying boughs

trying to light sap in the ice

and at night you can't breathe

so you lie there wrestling

morning can't come soon enough

but somehow all of this reminds me

of future with You

it's easy to be thankful when we're

cold, but alive.

Day 10

A story:

stripped from: watch, blanket and book

create shelter in blizzard

thanking God for pine boughs

practice the presence of god

memorize this.

Day 9

There are so many ways to

survive in snow

you might life easy

snares, heat traps and

shelter

we can catch anything in our hands.

Day 8

Sunday the 15th

Stream of Consciousness:

You have blessed me

and by blessed I mean you've pulled me up out of

white water

away from drowning-temptation

pulled me up on the shores of disaster

rested my feet on the rough rocks of reason.

You have shown me

and by shown I mean you've held my eyes open

so I could see truth undeniably clear and

thrown me into the valley where

"mountains meet river and wild horses wintered"

everything you've ever said is proof

the words you used aren't light

entering life takes guts

it isn't something that can be done

over night, or easily

so get ready to be uncomfortable

and like allen ginsberg in benarts

feeding a monkey on the roof of his house,

feel free to live generously

and see life in startling colour

it will include conversations about the

fourth dimension, hypercubes and cures for

depression, but eventually you'll rest at the sight

of bright trees like orange pollen crowded at the base of

mountains.

The lost day 5

Thinking about Job's shaved head:

Have you considered my servant Job?

Day 7

When I am lost

lead me

If I am tired

let me rest in you

When I am lonesome

give me truth.

Day 6

Last night, I slept in a 'Quinzhee'. They are like igloos, kind of. You pile snow, pack it, then dig out a platform inside above your tunnel door inside, so you are insulated from the winds. It is an amazing experience to be warmed by the substance that is making you cold. While I was trying to sleep in my quinzhee, I drew a small rendition of it, and then wrote a small prayer. It can be a nervous experience at first, trusting that the small home you've built is going to withstand the night. In the end I had a very good sleep, and I can't wait to go back.

Keep my heart certain

Keep my aim faithful

and keep the snow from collapse

There is no fear in love.

Day 5

Looking through my files, I can't find what I made on this day. I'm sure I wrote a poem or something, but apparently I forgot.

The internet here in Montana is unreliable. Sometimes it works and other times it does not. I can't always post daily. Plus, we are going to be up at Seigel Pass living in snow, many times this semester. My posts may become sporadic.

Day 4

May he remember all your sacrifices

and accept all your burnt offerings

May he give you the desire of your heart

and make all your plans succeed.

Psalm 20:3-4

Day 3

Demi-Glosa : This is a variation of a "Glosa". In the Demi-Glosa the first couplet is taken from another poem, these lines will form the last lines of each stanza. Italics will indicate the line's borrowedness. These lines are borrowed from Psalm 18.

The cords of death entangled me;

the torrents of destruction

overwhelmed me

Watching a rosehip bleed-

it shouldn't grieve me

I'm not a monster

I never was.

But it's hard to grasp the nature

of his loving chokehold;

strength like ivory.

To shut out agony

that shadow place where

the cords of death entangled me;

I've seen the ocean's wrath

I was fifteen when it almost

held me

under it's dark feathered wing

I prayed to poseidon but he didn't

help me

the torrents of destruction

overwhelmed me.

Day 2

"May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice. Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. Do not let my heart be drawn to what is evil" Psalm 141: 2-4

Day 1

"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has gone, the new has come"

Montana

Arrived back in Plains, MT.

It is incredible to be part of a positive community. I know it sounds simple, but the difference is drastic. You can't help but want to seek truth and life.

There is so much beauty in simplicity. The people here are less jaded, there is no urban cynicism. Life is directed - conducted like an orchestra, and the grandeur of it all is able to change people. Chaos can seem liberating, but it is usually deceitful. Chaos is rowdy and crowded. There is no room to think and we are swayed by the currents of those with loud voices. It is hard to stand firm in one spot. We lose sight quickly. The crowd dominates and we forget everything we once stood for. But in structure, there is so much liberty. There are clean lines drawn, so you can see whether or not it lines up with the truth you believe in. Your life is compelled towards God because the days stretch out long. There is so much to find in this place and I want to take advantage of my situation. In structure there is vision, and in vision there are possibilities for change.

And so I have a few simple goals. I want to learn spiritual discipline. I want to devote time everyday in creation, trying to learn more about the creator of this confusing universe. If possible I will post it here, just to have some sort of accountability.

"The son is the image of an invisible God, the first born over all creation. For in him all things were created: things on heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, rank after rank of angels, all things have been created throughout him and for him. He was there before any of it came into existence and holds it all together right up to this moment." Colossians 1 : 15-17